True Friends
There is a common saying among non-religious people : Someone who has fallen on hard times has no friends. This is a good expression of the common idea that you cannot find a real friend when you need one. However, friendship, loyalty, and faithfulness are very important in a person’s life, for those who are in financial difficulty or ill, or in need of spiritual support, want a real close friend at their side—. Friend who is a believed —to help them.
But since all relationships in non-religious societies are based on opportunism, unbelievers can never find a true friend. Only when they are in trouble or need do people see the real face of those whom they had always considered to be their friends. Their supposed friends even give trouble to them in such difficult times. For example, people going through times of need complain that no relative calls, that they are left alone, and that no one gives them any support.
For example, a wealthy person who drives an expensive car and eats in gourmet restaurants generally has a wide circle of friends, including many close ones. But if he loses his job and starts to work in a salaried position in his own factory, how will his relationships fare? Will his circle of friends show him the same love and respect that they did when he was rich? Will he be treated with the same interest, respect, and affection as when he wore expensive clothes and drove a luxury car? How will he be treated if he dresses modestly, does not throw his money around like he used to, and does not treat his friends to dinners? Clearly, he will not enjoy the same attention. Indeed, all of those whom he thought were his friends will turn their back on him. When they meet him, they will pretend not to see him or even might ridicule him. Actually, this person’s spirit has not changed; only his external appearance has changed. But because his erstwhile friends rely on outward material appearances, they abandon him in a moment, leaving him all by himself.
Take another example, that of a married couple. When they were married, they promised to stay together both in good times and bad. But what happens when the wife becomes paralyzed below the waist due to an accident and thus cannot walk or do anything for herself? What will her husband do? Perhaps he will stay with her for a while and help. But when he realizes that this is a permanent situation and one from which he will never benefit, everything suddenly changes. This example clearly shows how unbelievers regard loyalty, fidelity, and friendship: When the profit goes, the connection ends.
Most of those who do not abandon their spouse in such a situation stay because they are afraid of what their friends may think, not out of love and compassion for the handicapped spouse. On the surface, they appear dedicated and loyal, but they never feel real compassion and empathy for their spouse when he or she most needs it.
Another frequently encountered situation seen in unbelieving societies that are far from the Qur’an’s morality is how young people behave toward their elderly parents. For years, their families met their every need; but when their parents become old and their limbs do not support them any more, the young people do not show their parents the same loyalty and attention. They feel fettered by their elderly parents and usually put them in an old people’s home.
However, Muslims show the loyalty in how they treat their family members. They feed their parents but may not eat themselves, and will take great care to meet all of their needs. Allah describes how Muslims must behave toward their parents :
Your Lord has decreed that you should worship none but Him, and that you should show kindness to your parents. Whether one or both of them reach old age with you, do not say “Ugh!” to them out of irritation, and do not be harsh with them; rather, speak to them with gentleness and generosity. (Surat al-Isra’, 23) .
In other words, Muslims will not complain about believers who are in need; rather, they will help in every way they can, humanely and out of a good conscience. The only place you can find real friendship, sincere loyalty, and faithfulness is among devout Muslims. Muslims are friends, advocates, and helpers to one another. Obliged by their moral character to consider the good and well-being of their friends, even when they fall into desperate straits, they always do their best to fulfill their friends’ needs before their own and take pleasure in their acts of self-sacrifice. When their friends are ill or in financial distress, they do not mind seeing to their every need even before they are asked to do so. Even if they lose sleep and go hungry, they will not see their Muslim friends treated unjustly or in any need. In the Qur’an, Allah tells us about the true friends of believers :
Your friend is only Allah, His Messenger, and those who have faith: those who establish prayer, pay alms, and bow. (Surat al- Ma’ida, 55)
Those who believe and have migrated and striven with their wealth and themselves in the Way of Allah, and those who have given refuge and help, they are the friends and protectors of one another. But as for those who believe but have not migrated, you are not in any way responsible for their protection until they migrate. But if they ask you for help in respect of the religion, it is your duty to help them, except against people with whom you have a treaty. Allah sees what you do. (Surat al-Anfal, 72)
by Harun Yahya
